Without you
by Candra Jade
Summary: This story takes place after Live together,die alone,but Kate,Jack and Sawyer aren t captured by the others in this story.
1. Chapter 1

**Without you **

**Pairing: Jack/Kate**

Rating: R (FSK 16)

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC.

**Chapter 1**

"Just keep moving. We're being followed," Kate whispered.

"What?" Sawyer asked.

"Just keep smiling. There are at least two of them across the river. In about 5 seconds I'm going to turn the tables on them."

Sawyer stopped her." Wait a second."

"You in?"

Sawyer aimed and hit one of the others, the second one was able to escape.

"We have to stop him, he´ll be back soon with a whole army," Kate yelled.

"It´s too late, Kate, he´ s gone," Jack stated.

"And so is our favorite traitor," Sawyer noticed.

Jack, Kate and Hurley looked around. Sawyer was right; Michael had escaped, too.

"We have to go back to camp before they can find us. Now that they know we saw through Michael´s plan we have no chance against them," Jack said.

"What makes you think we ever had a change, genius?" Sawyer asked Jack angrily.

"That's not the time to argue. Jack is right, we have to go," Kate intervened.

The four of them started to make their way back to camp.  
Suddenly they were disturbed by a terrifying noise. They immediately recognized it, although they hadn't heard it very often.

"Guys, tell me that isn't that monster thing," Hurley pleaded.

"Sawyer and Hurley you run to the left, me and Kate to the right. Our chances are better when we separate. Run!" Jack ordered.

They did as they were told.

Hurley and Sawyer ran as fast as they could until exhaustion overtook Hurley and he fell to his knees. Cursing, Sawyer went back to pick him up.

"Come on guy, we can have a picnic later."

Hurley stood up panting.

"Dude, I can't hear it anymore. I think it´ s gone."

"You're right. Let's go and see if the Doc and Freckles were as lucky as we."

Kate and Jack ran blindly into the jungle. The monster seemed to have chosen them as his prey and it came nearer and nearer.

They ran through the jungle, the noise coming closer. After a few minutes they reached a place with a cliff to their right. To their left was still jungle, but the trees were standing less close there. They would be easy to catch there and the monster seemed to be a lot faster than they were.

Jack thought feverishly about a way to safe Kate. It didn't matter what would happen to him, but he couldn't bear the thought of losing Kate. His eyes caught some rocks near the cliff and he had an idea. Unnoticed by Kate, who ran further into the jungle, Jack let himself fall back gradually.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Jack made his way towards the rocks near the cliff. They were quite big, but he seriously doubted that he would be able to win a fight with this thing. There was only one chance. He had to tease the creature enough to let it forget about its safety and come near the cliff. If it was so big and heavy as it sounded, chances were that it would slip and fall into the sheer.

Jack knew that he most likely wouldn't be that lucky, but he had a good chance to distract the monster long enough to give Kate time to escape. Jack could only hope that Kate would be in such a hurry that she didn't notice his absence before that thing was gone.

He knew her; as soon as Kate noticed that Jack wasn't behind her, she would come back for him. And stubborn as she was, she would try and fight the monster instead of leaving Jack and saving herself.

Jack could see the trees in front of him being pushed aside. He took a deep breath, let his backpack fall to the ground and caught some of the rocks.

"So, we're there. That's where we split up. How are we supposed to find Jack and Kate? I mean, Godzilla bent all the trees. Even if we were trackers – and Dude, we aren't - how can we find the tracks of our people between that mess?" Hurley asked.

"Not at all. We just follow this "mess" and hope _not _to find them. That would be a good sign. That would mean they've probably hidden somewhere and will be back at the camp before we are."

"And if we find them?" Hurley asked, already knowing what they would most likely find.

"Let's just hope we won't."

All Jack saw was something jumping in his direction incredibly fast. In a last desperate attempt not to give up without a fight, he threw all the rocks into the direction the creature came from. He didn't know if he hit it, because one moment later he stumbled backwards and fell.

Kate ran without looking back. She lost track of time and ran as fast as she could until her legs gave in and she fell to the ground. She expected Jack standing behind her. He would lift her up each second and tell her they had to move on.

But there was no hand on her arm. Kate turned around and panic overtook her. Jack wasn't behind her. Kate had no idea how long or how far she had run and she didn't know how long Jack had been missing. Although her legs were still shaking she got up and started running again, but this time in the opposite direction.

"Jack!" Kate screamed again and again. With each step she took, the fear that made her throat tight grew. Kate felt tears running down her face. How could she have not noticed that Jack wasn't behind her? She left him to himself. Kate would never be able to forgive herself, if she wouldn't find him alive.

Kate had lost people she cared about a lot before, people she loved. It had hurt terribly to lose her mum and Tom. And she had lost Sam, too, although he didn't die. But in this moment, Kate realized, that losing Jack would hurt so much more. She had thought she loved Tom, but now she realized that she hadn't known what real love was before she met Jack. His believe in her when he told her "You don't run now" when they had first met, had touched something deep inside of Kate.

Jack had given her hope that maybe she had been wrong and she wasn't a bad person after all. He had made her believe that there really was a second chance and a new life. And if she lost him now she would die inside.

Kate had been so deep in her thoughts, that she needed a second to see that she had reached the clearing with the cliff. She didn't know what gave her the strength, but she increased her speed on the last meters. What she found made her worst fears become reality. The monster had left when there was no one left to be chased. But the only trace of Jack was his backpack lying abandoned on the ground.

"The trees are standing less close there, there seems to be a clearing," Hurley noticed.

When he and Sawyer had reached the spot, they found Kate on her knees, sobbing and holding something close to her chest that Sawyer recognized as Jack's backpack when he came nearer. Words weren't necessary. Sawyer just knelt down next to Kate, taking her in his arms.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Kate cried until she had no tears left, never letting go of Jack's backpack.

"Kate, we have to go back to camp," Sawyer said softy." We've got only a couple of hours left until it's getting dark and I don't want to call the attention of that thing or the others by using a torch."

Kate didn't react. Sawyer slowly let go of her and turned her face, so that she had to look at him.

"Did you understand me? We have to go back, before it's getting dark," Sawyer saw in her eyes hat she had understood, but didn't care if she got captured by the others or killed by the monster. He used the only argument he had left.

"He would want us to be safe." Kate tensed and then slowly nodded. Sawyer helped her to get up.

"I'm so sorry, Kate," Hurley said. There was nothing he could do to make her feel better, but he wanted her to know that he felt with her.

The small group headed back to the camp. Kate clung to Jack's backpack the whole way, not willing to let go the only thing she had left from him.

Jack awoke feeling a hammering pain in his head. He slowly opened the eyes and sat up, jerking when he realized where he was. He was sitting on a small rock spur.

Jack looked up. He had fallen about two meters deep. When the throbbing in his head decreased a bit, Jack tried to hear any noises from above. Nothing. There wasn't the roaring sound of the monster, so it had probably disappeared. But what had happened to Kate? Had she monster followed her after he had fallen? This thought made Jack feel sick. He had to get up there as soon as possible.

Kate was in a trance the whole time they needed to get back to the camp. She didn't speak a word.

She neither noticed her surroundings nor did she know how long they had walked. All she knew was that she was suddenly standing on the beach.

Hurley did his best to get rid of the crowd surrounding them, speaking simultaneously.

"We'll explain everything later. Just give Kate some time to rest," Sawyer told them.

"You should really go back to your tent and rest," Sawyer told Kate, expecting that she would let him lead her passively like she had all the way back. So he was really surprised, when Kate looked him in the eyes and spoke for the first time since they had found her.

"No. I have to be at the caves," Kate argued.

"I thought you hate that place," Sawyer said.

"I just need to be there," Kate insisted.

"Alright. I'll go with you." Sawyer had no idea what was going on, but he wasn't going to let her go by herself. And if it made her feel better to be at the caves it was all right with him.

When Jack got up he noticed a sharp pain in his ankle.

"Damn," Jack cursed and sat down again to examine his foot. It wasn't broken, but it felt as if he had sprained his ankle. But there was no other way. He had to climb that cliff anyhow.

Jack found a piece of wood next to him. That had to work as a splint. He took his shirt of and ripped it apart and after a few minutes he had an acceptable splint. Slowly, Jack placed his foot on the ground again and stood up. It still hurt, but it would go. Reaching above, Jack managed to get a hold on the cliff and pulled himself up.

There was no sign of Kate. He went into the direction where he had last seen her, calling her name again and again. Finally, he went back to the cliff. On the one hand, he told himself that he would have found her body somewhere near if the monster had gotten her. But on the other hand not knowing where she was made him feel sick with worry.

Then he noticed that his backpack wasn't where he had left it. The only possibility was that Kate had taken it. That meant she was probably all right and on her way back to the beach. Relief filled Jack, but then he realized how the scene must have looked like for Kate. The abandoned backpack, him missing, the cliff. _She must think I'm dead_, Jack realized.

Jack wasn't sure how Kate felt for him. He doubted that she reciprocated his feelings for her. If she would, she hadn't run away from him and back to Sawyer right after that incredible kiss. But Jack knew that she cared about him and that she would suffer thinking he were dead.

And not only Kate. Every one of the survivors relied on him. How would they react to the news that their only doctor was probably dead?

Jack made his way back as fast as his hurt ankle and his still throbbing head allowed. But after he had walked for about an hour, he felt that he had no energy left. The pain in his ankle got worse with each step and he started feeling really dizzy because of his injured head and the lack of water. He was a lot slower than normally and it started to get dark. When he heard the sound of a river not far away, he decided to drink something and make camp for the night. He would leave by sunrise.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Sawyer followed Kate to the caves, still not knowing why she wanted to get there so badly. He watched her entering Jack's cave and slowly got an idea, why she went there.

Kate ignored all the people staring at her and lay down on Jack's bed, taking his pillow in her arms like she had done with his backpack before. But the pillow was better, because it smelled like him. She cuddled in his bed and started sobbing again.

This time, Sawyer decided not to try and comfort her, although he wanted to. But Kate hadn't responded to him all the way to the caves, so he assumed that she just wanted to be alone.

Kate had been in a trance like state all the way back, but now that she was lieing on Jack's bed and taking his smell in, she started realizing that he was really gone.

She would never hear his voice again or feel his gentle touch. There would be no one who would keep her from running. There wouldn't be someone to would bring Guava seeds to as a silent apology. There was no one left who would silently sit besides her at the beach when she was upset.

How should she continue living without him? How should she ever smile or laugh again?

Her life was a mess. It had been that way for three years, but now it was worse. With Jack she had found the happiness, comfort and trust she had never known before. Now that he was gone, she realized that her life was absolutely empty. There was nothing left to lose and nothing left to live for.

Jack went to the river, cleaned the wound on his had and made a cold compress for his ankle. Then he lay down and tried unsuccessful to find some sleep. His thoughts drifted to Kate. What was she doing right now? Had she really gotten back safely? Had she cried because she thought he was dead? A part of him hoped she was mourning for him, but she other part was shocked by this selfish thought. How could he wish something like that? He loved Kate and he didn't want her to suffer. But he couldn't bear the thought that his death would leave her untouched, either. When Jack finally fell asleep the sun was already rising.

Kate didn't sleep the whole night. She didn't even notice how much time had passes, so she was surprised when Sun softly touched her shoulder. Kate hadn't even realized that Sun had entered the cave.

"Kate", Sun spoke softly to her. "I've brought you some breakfast."

Kate didn't want to talk to Sun; she just wanted to be left alone in Jacks cave where she felt near to him. But Sun deserved at last a sign that Kate had noticed her.

"Thanks Sun, but I can't eat right now," was all Kate was able to say.

Sun nodded. "Alright, but please drink at least some water."

"I will, later," Kate lied.

Sun wasn't really convinced, but decided to give Kate some more time.

"I'll leave the water here. If you need anything else, I'll always be there for you."

Kate nodded slightly and then brought Jack's pillow near her face again.

When Jack finally awoke he noticed appalled that it was already noon. The exhaustion and the concussion he probably had had knocked him out. Jack hurried to stand up. His ankle was still aching, but it wasn't as bad as the day before. He would be able to walk, but not as fast as he usually would. Jack hoped that he would get back to camp before it got dark.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5  
**  
Hurley and Sawyer had managed to keep the curious folks away from Kate. Hurley had told them what had happened and Sawyer had left no doubt that everybody who disturbed Kate with stupid questions would regret it.

Sun didn't talk to Kate for a few hours, but she, Sawyer and Claire stayed in hearing distance in case Kate needed anything. When they hadn't heard anything from her by noon, Sun couldn't stand it anymore and went inside the cave to look after Kate. She found her in exactly the same position she had been in when Sun had left. A quick glance at the water bottle and the fruits she had placed next to Kate earlier told Sun that Kate had neither eaten nor drunk.

"Kate, you need to drink at least a little water. It's very hot and you'll become dehydrated. "

This time Kate didn't even respond to Sun, she seemed to be drifting off more and more. Signing, Sun left again.

"How is she doing?" Claire asked.

"I'm really worried. Kate isn't eating or drinking and I don't think she slept last night. It's like she had stopped living when Jack died. It seems like she had just lain down to die."

Sawyer got up so suddenly that the women looked at him surprised. But before they could say anything he was in the cave. He didn't speak softly to her like Sun had done, but turned her around with enough force to pull her out of her lethargy and make her look into his eyes.

"Listen to me: I won't allow you to kill yourself. Did you get that? You have two choices. Number one is you drink some of that water voluntarily. Number two is I'll force your mouth open and pour the damn water in your stubborn throat. And you know that I'm capable of doing that."

Kate looked at Sawyer with surprise. A close inspection of his expression told her that he was absolutely serious. So she took the bottle from him and drank.

Sawyer didn't know if he should be relieved. Kate had finally drunk some water, but he knew he couldn't force her to sleep or eat. They had run out on sedatives and there was no way he could get something else than water into her by force and Kate knew that as well as he did. What alarmed him most was that he hadn't see anger in her eyes when he made her drink. The Kate he knew would have had that unmistakably glow of pure rage in her eyes being forced to do anything. But now her eyes were empty. There wasn't any sign of life inside them.

Jack didn't allow himself to rest. What had been a diffuse feeling of worry the day before had become more intense. He had the strong feeling that there was something seriously wrong with Kate and that he needed to get back to camp as soon as possible.

_Don't be stupid_, he tried to tell himself. You're a scientist, you don't believe in something like a sixth sense. If something was wrong with Kate she probably didn't make it back home. And if she was home, she was most likely fine. So the urge he felt to get back to the camp as soon as possible because of Kate was absolutely irrational. But it felt exactly the same like when he had decided to go after Kate after she had gone to explore the hatch with Locke. And back then she had been in danger. _Coincidence_, Jack told himself, but it didn't help. The worry didn't leave him and so Jack went as fast as he could with his hurt ankle without taking a break. In the late afternoon he had made it quite far. _Another hour, maybe two, if I can keep my pace_, he thought. He would be home before dust if nothing unexpected happened.

Sawyer had come two more times, silently giving Kate the bottled of water and she had silently expected it and drank until he allowed her to lie back down. It would soon be evening. The other survivors were starting fires to cook their dinner and to give them light and warmth during the night. Only Kate was facing another sleepless night. She would give everything to feel Jack's arms around her and hear his soothing voice. Her eyelids dropped close and she pressed the pillow even tighter around herself. She could almost hear his voice. She felt a soft hand on her shoulder. Kate smiled contently. Then she heard someone speaking to her, but it wasn't Jack. Kate opened her eyes.

"Kate, I'll stay with you for the night. Is that all right?" Claire asked softly. She had talked to Sun, Hurley and Sawyer and they had come to the conclusion that they would take shifts staying with Kate. Just in case she decided to do something to herself. No one was sure she wouldn't consider that in her current state.

Kate felt her heart break again. For a moment she had believed he were really there. Kate started sobbing helplessly again.

Suddenly Jack heard the unmistakable sound of a gunshot. The others had found him. Luckily he hadn't lost his gun when he fell down the cliff. Jack shot in the direction of the sound and heard a scream. He obviously had hurt one of them. Maybe his friends would look after him, so Jack could disappear from their sight by running into the direction where the trees were standing most tightly.

He was lucky. The sounds of the others became weaker; Jack was obviously removing himself from them. He tried to move fast, but silent. They would expect him to go back to his camp and they would try to catch him before he got there, because there were weapons and a lot of people who could deal with them at the camp. It was much easier to catch him alone.

Jack had no choice but to chose a different direction without departing too much from the camp. After he had walked for a while he found a place where the trees stood so tight that nobody would see him between them.

Jack wanted nothing more than get back to Kate to convince himself that she was all right. But he had to wait until the others gave up the search for him. He would stay awake during the night and leave as soon as there was enough light that he didn't have to use a torch. If he hurried, he would still be home at about 8 am.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 **

Jack left when the first sunlight illuminated his way. It didn't matter how often he told himself not to worry about Kate; he simply knew that there was something wrong with her, if he had a scientific explanation for that or not.

His ankle barely hurt anymore and the wound on his head didn't cause him trouble anymore, so he reached the beach in less than two hours. It was early in the morning, so most of the survivors were still asleep. The first person he saw was Charlie, who was playing with Aaron at the beach. The infant probably didn't allow him to get much sleep. For a moment Jack wondered where Claire was, but there were more important things on his mind. When Charlie saw Jack he looked at him puzzled for a moment but then started smiling widely.

"Jack! I can't say how glad I am to see you. We all thought you didn't make it. Hurley told us you fell from a cliff."

Before Jack could respond to Charlie, he saw Sawyer walking out of his tent. He had heard Charlie call Jack's name. His face was priceless.

"Jack, I had never thought, that I would be so glad to see you anytime. I really want to hear your story, but now there's someone who needs to see you right now."

"Needs to see me? Is someone hurt?" Jack felt panic overtake him. Had his feelings told him the truth? "Is Kate hurt?"

"Not physically, but if she doesn't see you alive and well soon that will change. I'll tell you everything on the way."

Jack and Sawyer nearly ran to the caves, Jack becoming more worried with each word Sawyer said. Kate hadn't been eating and sleeping for two days, she had to be very weak. But despite of his worry Jack was very touched by the depths of Kate's feelings for him. And he felt incredible guilty for allowing himself to rest the first day. If he had ignored his pain and dizziness he would have been back two days earlier and Kate wouldn't have suffered so long.

"It's my fault. I took a rest for a whole night, because my ankle was hurt and I had a concussion. If I hadn't done this, I would have been back two days earlier."

"Doc, if you had tried to walk back with a concussion and a hurt ankle, you would have passed out most likely and maybe you wouldn't be home by now. So stop torturing yourself and look after Freckles, we're almost there."

Claire's jaw dropped when she saw Jack entering the cave.

"Kate, look up," she said zealous. But Kate didn't react. Jack gave Claire a sign to leave them alone and Claire nodded and left.

Jack knelt down next to Kate, caressing her hair softly and whispering her name.

Kate jumped up and turned to Jack, facing him bewildered.

"Are you a ghost?" She spluttered.

"No, Kate, I'm real," Jack said with a soft smile. "I was lucky and fell on a rock spur."

Finally, Kate realized that this was real. Jack was alive and he was with her. Without any warning Kate threw her arms around Jack and kissed him with a passion he had never experienced before.

Jack needed a few seconds to respond to her, but then he returned the kiss with everything he had. After they had broken the kiss to catch some air, Kate hugged Jack tightly again. Jack pulled her in his embrace and Kate started sobbing again, releasing all grief of the past two days. Jack gently rubbed her back and kissed her hair, whispering soothing words to her.

"I'm so sorry it took me so long to come back to you, my love," Jack whispered.

Kate wanted to hear where he had been for so long, but not now. This could wait.

"Did you just call me 'my love'?" Kate asked through her tears.

"Yes, I did and I meant it," Jack said, gently wiping her tears away with his thumb.

"I've never believed in love at first sight until the day I met you. I love you Kate, more than I have ever loved anyone else in my life. You are the only thing that kept me from going insane on this damn island and you are the reason why I don't regret that I was on this plane. You are my last thought before I fall asleep every night and my first thought when I awake. You are my life Kate."

Jack didn't try to wipe away Kate's joyful tears anymore and now he had tears in his eyes, too.

"I love you so much Jack. I didn't know how I would survive without you. You are the best that ever happened to me. No one has ever treated me with so much respect before. I stopped relying on people a long time ago, but you taught me to believe in you."

"I was such an idiot. I should have told you that I love you a long time ago. But I always thought you wanted Sawyer. You two were so close and you seemed to be attracted to him," Jack told Kate, still caressing her cheeks.

"You're right, Jack. You were an idiot. I like Sawyer and I care for him a lot, but he can't ever be more than a friend to me, because my heart has belonged to someone else all the time. I just didn't say anything because I thought you didn't want me. You deserve so much better. I'm a murderer, Jack. "

"Kate, you are the most wonderful, committed and caring person I have ever met. When you killed someone you must have been in desperate situation."

Kate was speechless. She had thought Jack would hate after finding out what she did. She absolutely didn't know what to say, so Kate just kissed Jack again. He responded eagerly while Kate's hands started to explore his body. She caressed his hair, his arms and his back and then let her hands slowly slip under Jack's shirt.

"Are you sure?" Jack asked.

"I've never been so sure about anything," Kate answered firmly.

That was all reassurance Jack needed.

Jack kissed Kate passionately, only stopping to quickly remove their shirts.

They managed to get rid of their jeans and underwear without breaking the kiss again and within seconds Jack was buried deep inside of Kate. They could go slow next time.

"Harder, Jack!" Kate moaned and Jack complied happily. He moved in and out of her hard and fast, finding an angle which allowed him to reach all the places which made Kate scream in ecstasy.

"Oh god, Jack, yes!" Kate panted and a moment later Jack could feel her walls contract around him. Jack moaned at the sensation of Kate's inner muscles clenching around him and quickly followed Kate over the edge, moaning her name.

Jack started to pull out of Kate, but she stopped him. "No, please stay inside of me," Kate whispered, wrapping her arms around Jack's neck. She needed to feel him as close as possible to convince herself that he really was still there.

"Okay," Jack whispered soothingly and kissed Kate's neck. "I'm here."

Jack rolled on his back, taking Kate with him without breaking their connection. Jack grasped a blanket and threw it over them while Kate snuggled against his chest. Still joined in the most intimate ways the lovers soon fell in a peaceful sleep.


End file.
